Jump to content


Photo
* * * * * 1 votes

The Magmoor Hot Tub

Dating Forever Alone

  • Please log in to reply
17 replies to this topic

#11 Prowl 1701

Prowl 1701

    Level 4

  • Phazon Metroid
  • 1,739 posts

Posted 12 December 2014 - 08:37 PM

I'd share my stories of online romance, but I'm sure you guys know them all already since they all happened here with me casually flirting with the few female members that we occasionally get.

It's an unsolved mystery why they all seem to leave.  :P



#12 torgo

torgo

    Grand Poobah of Chozo Shriners

  • Kraid
  • 3,414 posts
  • Nintendo ID:TorgoKong
  • 3DS Code:3866-8871-2120

Posted 23 February 2015 - 12:21 PM

Just came across this article over on /. and thought it belonged here.

 

The Science of Online Dating

 

I'm not sure how true any of its info is, though; my username was torgo and my wife's was ZukeyKitty when we met on match.com, and we turned out OK (read TFA to know what I'm talking about).



#13 Lame "PBluafnotr4d2" 87421F

PBluafnotr4d2

    Chozo Turbo Kitten

  • Lame "Buford" 87421F
  • 13,548 posts

Posted 05 September 2016 - 05:42 PM

Well, the day has come. I made a profile at Match.com. It's free to be a member, but you gotta pay for... other shit.

 

Sneaky-ass fucks. In the intro shit, they ask you what you look for in a partner, including appearances, and then they ask you a bunch of shit about yourself. Then after that, they show you pictures of 8 bitches and you have to DE-select the ones you're not immediately interested in. I figured it was just another appearance check. So, I carefully DE-selected them all (since they're defaultly all selected), and then I continued. I selected the cuter ones that kinda fit with my girl preferences: slender to average build; mostly with yellow or red hair; and blue, green, or gray eyes. I actually kept one or two selected with dark curly hair and eyes, but whatevs. Anyway, after that, they show me my "12 Matches of the Day," and... what the fuck, why am I finding so many snorlaxes on Match.com, yet not a single one on Pokémon Go?! >:(

 

Well, I'm guessing that's due to the "Video Game" interest I've checked off on my profile. >3> BUT STILL! I've only found one or two girls who actually list video games as an interest, but I didn't even bother clicking on any from the snorlax horde. Aside from those, you also have the slew of girls with horribly deceiving profile defaults. Thankfully they posted some additional pics (unlike me; I've only got one so far) and I was able to see what they're really like. My gawd, what the fuck is this, MySpace?! Many of these have what could pass off as a Glamor Shot at the best angle conceivable as their avatar, and then profile pics that leave me wondering how the fuck the people in the two images are even related.

 

>>Edit: Oh yeah! Back to the "DE-selecting" thing: I was making a big deal out of it because they automatically added all of the Non-DE-selected girls to my interest/view list, and I CAN'T REMOVE THEM! Not without a paid subscription anyway. -_-; The way I see it, they checked them ALL off so that you'll have one more piece of incentive to pay when you can't remove girls. That curly-haired girl from earlier? Yeah, I checked her profile, and her interests aren't in line enough with mine, and her other pics are... damn.

 

Well, I've taken the plunge.  Going by Torgo's progress, it'll be a few years. :P

 

 

>>Edit 2: I just paid for a 6-month trial that could potentially last me a year if I comply with the service agreement for the first 6 months and don't find "someone special" within that period. I just wonder what the fuck constitutes a "Someone Special."


Edited by PBluafnotr4d2, 05 September 2016 - 08:23 PM.


#14 torgo

torgo

    Grand Poobah of Chozo Shriners

  • Kraid
  • 3,414 posts
  • Nintendo ID:TorgoKong
  • 3DS Code:3866-8871-2120

Posted 05 September 2016 - 08:28 PM

Good that you've gotten going on this, Plant. Let me give you some advice, since I'm old and I've done this, so I'll be right with everything I say.

 

You likely don't need someone who lists video games as an interest, as long as they don't mind if they're what you eat, breathe, and sleep. Look at Robok - J9 games for 1.5 hours a week, and yet they haven't killed each other yet. Of course, she grew up with you, so maybe that's a tainted experiment.

 

Most importantly, don't go looking for Miss Right right off the bat. You're probably out of practice, to the point where a grossly deformed turd monster has more social graces around women than you. Ease into it, learn how to charm people, show 'em your moves, and then when the time is right, you'll be ready.

 

Also, lather yourself with syrup and honeydew melon juice before responding to any messages, or starting any new ones. Believe it or not, women can sense that kind of thing even through the internet, and it's important to be ready for it.

 

Now you're all set - knock 'em dead, tiger!



#15 Lame "PBluafnotr4d2" 87421F

PBluafnotr4d2

    Chozo Turbo Kitten

  • Lame "Buford" 87421F
  • 13,548 posts

Posted 05 September 2016 - 09:40 PM

...so you're saying I SHOULDN'T have a close-up of my jizzcannon as my default profile picture?

#16 torgo

torgo

    Grand Poobah of Chozo Shriners

  • Kraid
  • 3,414 posts
  • Nintendo ID:TorgoKong
  • 3DS Code:3866-8871-2120

Posted 06 September 2016 - 07:43 AM

At some point in my match.com life, I used this picture:

 

1homermirror.jpg

 

But I took a picture of my face and slapped it on in place of Homer's (both front side and back). That brought the chicks swarming! But I figured anyone who thought it was funny was worth meeting.



#17 Lame "PBluafnotr4d2" 87421F

PBluafnotr4d2

    Chozo Turbo Kitten

  • Lame "Buford" 87421F
  • 13,548 posts

Posted 06 September 2016 - 05:53 PM

At some point in my match.com life, I used this picture:

 

1homermirror.jpg

 

But I took a picture of my face and slapped it on in place of Homer's (both front side and back). That brought the chicks swarming! But I figured anyone who thought it was funny was worth meeting.

 

Good point. I'll be scaring away a bunch of girls if I do it, but the quality girls will approach me even after seeing nerd-add shit like this. I guess for now I'm scared of scaring girls away at all. xP!!

 

Haha, while selecting a profile pic, I was really fucking tempted to make it this:

 



#18 torgo

torgo

    Grand Poobah of Chozo Shriners

  • Kraid
  • 3,414 posts
  • Nintendo ID:TorgoKong
  • 3DS Code:3866-8871-2120

Posted 06 September 2016 - 06:27 PM

You need to get a screen grab of your character in GTA, it practically is you!






0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users