E³ 2018 IS HERE, MOFOS!
Alrighty, you fucks! E³ 2018 is upon us, and that means it's the return of the best time of the year! The time for all of us to bring our hopes and dreams to the table, and look on at the glorious press releases and game and tech reveals with our joy-beaming faces, and ultimately walk away with a weird asstaste in our mouths and an immediately created new set of hopes for the following year's E³ actually delivering on our hopes and dreams.
• Resident Evil 2 Remake. My #1 desire for this year's E³, this project was announced in 2015, and concrete news on the project has been virtually absent ever since. There have been viral teases, for instance, the official Resident Evil Facebook page changing its image to a logo that combines elements of the RE2 and RE7 logos, and current rumors that RE2 is running on the RE7 engine. Nonetheless, Capcom remains silent, aside from a quote that 2 major releases are planned for release before March 2019. It's about time Capcom blows the lid off this juggernaut.
• Wave Race. There is little more that Nintendo can do this year to get me wet than reveal a new Wave Race on Switch with fantastic water effects and physics. Last month Wave Race producer Shinya Takahashi teased optimism in the return of the franchise on Switch, and I maintain that Nintendo has released virtually nothing worthwhile on their home consoles over the past 4 years. They must have something worth a fuck behind the scenes, and I'm really feeling a Wave Race reveal. If we do get one, I hope this one will have many more courses than previous Wave Race entries. There's no reason why we can't have multiple "cups" with their own sets of courses. WR64 had 8; Blue Storm had 7; GameBoy version had... who the fuck knows/cares. I don't see why we can't have double or triple that in the next game.
• Final Fantasy VII Remake. This game is still a long way's off, but it was announced in 2015 and it's been in development for quite some time now. I still find it terrible that this planned as an episodic game, but I'll happily buy into it once it's complete. I really wish they'd just hold off on releasing it until it's finished. Square-Enix will probably want to focus on Kingdom Hearts III this year, but I'm ready to see an update on how the FFVII Remake is progressing, and I'm sure Square's got some quality shit to show off if they wanted to.
• Monolith Soft's next game. A while back, Monolith Soft, the developer behind the Xenoblade series (and co-developer behind the Baten Kaitos series on GameCube) announced that they were working on their next title after Xenoblade Chronicles 2. They were aiming at an action-based battle system with a fantasy style for their next project. I'm excited to see this next project, so that they can get it over with and hopefully someday bring on a Baten Kaitos 3... or 2, since Origins was a prequel.
• Catherine: Full Body. This is the remake/definitive edition/expansion/whatever for the original Catherine game. As some of you may know, I bought Catherine on 360, got all of the Achievements on there, and then re-purchased it on PS3 and proceeded to obtain all the trophies for that game, too. I love me some'ol fuckin' Catherine, and I'm ready for a "triple dip" given the new puzzle additions and possibilities, though I hate that they're adding a brand new girl "Rin" into the mix. This will totally change the original game's vision of a Katherine/Catherine split. What's worse, they're hinting that this new girl is a tranny--potentially changing the protagonist. Anyway, Full Body is scheduled for a JP release in Winter 2018 on PS4 and Vita. I actually wish they'd have a Switch version of this game, but I'd sooner fill my other hand with piss.
Hope in one hand, piss in the other...
• F-Zero SX. This should be a plausible hope, but then again this is new-age Nintendo we're talking about here. The return of Wave Race should also signal the return of F-Zero, but thinking it through, the reverse may be true: Since a new F-Zero is unlikely, why should we humor the notion of a new new Wave Race, regardless of the optimistic rumblings of its producer?
• Silent Hill 9. There is no evidence that this project exists, and Konami has been doing nothing but shitting on their gaming fans ever since they assassinated Hideo Kojima (or something like that), but I'm sure they still have at least some desire to maintain their video game business afloat. We got the abomination that is Metal Gear Survive earlier this year, so why can't we get some bullshit like... "Tactical Espionage Supernaturalism" that drives the final death stake into the Silent Hill franchise? Whatever it is, I wanna see Konami's next stab at Silent Hill after the cancellation of Silent Hills.
STFU, this shit is NOT gonna be there.
• Metroid Prime 4. This project was announced last year with a half-assed reveal comprised of generic logo to quell the angry masses who want respectable shit on their $400 portable home console... and the retarded masses ate it up with boners a plenty. Now the same blind boner-laden optimists are raving about the potential of MP4's presence at E³. Go ahead, and keep your hopes WAY high for this one, guys. But do so silently. I only wanna hear you when you express your disappointment after the show is over. Production had not begun yet, and we prolly won't get this shit until 2020.
• Shin Megami Tensei V. This would be my #1 desire for Switch's E³ 2018, if only I actually believed there was a chance of it being shown. The project was announced as "SMT Next" on Switch last year, but it still wasn't totally confirmed as SMT V, or if it'd be another spinoff. Several months down the line, it was confirmed as the official 5th numbered entry, and word came out that the production had not truly gotten of the ground until that point either, since a dev team had yet to be gathered (before that it was only about 3 dudes). Part of me wants to place this in the above category, but doing so would make me no different than the blind MP4 optimists.
Wild and hopeless dreams.
• Eternal Darkness 2
• Endless Ocean 3
• Red Dead Redemption 2 for Switch
• Sleeping Dogs 2
• Perfect Dark 2 (done right)
• Zelda for Switch (done right)
• DmC: Devil May Cry 2 (not DMC5)
Edited by PBluafnotr4d2, 30 May 2018 - 07:17 AM.